Two Way Street
Used to find myself in them,
Pride myself in being with him.
Hold my head high only when I wasn’t alone,
Cry in shame when I was.
Years of not being good enough,
Relationships full of games & torment.
If it takes a month to make a habit,
I guess years would make a lifestyle.
Love meant I give you all I can,
You just say you love me - even if you don’t mean it.
It meant I take the cruel words with a grain of salt,
And bury my hurt in a hidden spot deep within.
Love meant making excuses,
And never being the one who was right.
It was sacrifices and lost dreams,
But as long as you are happy - I am too.
Envious of the theatrical love story,
They are only actors - it can’t really be that great.
Accepted my life for the best it could get,
Kept burying it deep - hoping it would never slip.
Acted or not, I believe now in that love.
The kind where I am good enough for being me,
He will be faithful, and joyful to have me,
And I will never find myself questioning if he wished I was her.
I will be loved for me,
Every curve, every flaw, every imperfection…
This will be more reason to love me,
Just as it always has been more reason for me to love.
I won’t have to hide, or feel ashamed of my feelings,
Jealousy will never strike me,
Trust will be a foundation,
And time will be a gift used wisely.
My lesson now is simple.
Love is a beautiful thing,
It should be cherished and adored,
But only when it is a two way street.
June 16, 2010