I am strong in myself,
but lonely without him.
I am surviving & moving forward,
yet still am repulsed by the mere sight of a couple in love.
I am back to where I started,
with a new sense of life & a very skewed sense of death.
I am proud of what I did for him,
but shattered to finally let the truth in.
I am positive I tried my hardest,
but still sad it wasn't enough.
I am sure this will make me a stronger woman,
but sometimes can't fight the urge to crawl up and sob like a child.
I am blessed with what I have left,
but miss them both more than they will ever know.
I am crying less,
but tears hurt so much more when they do show now.
I am feeling things inside me heal,
but more than ever I am terrifed of feeling hurt for losing him.
I am sure I was his for seven months,
but I'm not so sure he was happy it was me & not her.
I am drowning in so much,
and praying for my savior to save me.
I am stronger and better,
but please don't mistake I am dealing with more than his death.
I am praying he's happy in heaven,
as I realize now that he wasn't as happy as I thought I could make him.
I am sad I wasn't the one,
isn't it okay still to be hurt that he's gone and that he didn't really want a life with me?
I am trying the best I possibly can,
that I promise.