Life continues to move forward, people have gone back to work, found their smiles again, and despite my endless requests to the world - it refuses to stop spinning. So I would suppose this is my clue that even though I have lost someone dear to me, life has no pause button. I am entitled to my sadness, laughter and every emotion that hits me, but life will keep going.
In every other area, I have taken the steps to let my life continue. Tuesday was my first day back to work, today I went to lunch with a good friend of mine, but when it comes to that damn bedroom - I can't find the strength. It's only been seventeen days now and it feels like an eternity. Nights are the worst, and I haven't taken off my necklace since the day I got it. Some days are easier than others, and I will be the first to admit it doesn't take much to send me into a crying fit.
I have a feeling that very soon Ryan will give me strength I need to finish this part - but I will be honest here, I am scared to set up the TV and DVD player and see what Ryan was watching that day. I can see everything else about that night, but the sound of the TV is drowned out by my screaming.
Here I am again, sitting on the floor - staring at what my life has been reduced to - Boxes, Hampers & Trashbags.
My ray of hope for the night? The tab just to the left of this window is for apartment shopping. This is just a stop in my road of life, and with the help of my two amazing guardian angels (Daddy and Ryan) I know the road is long and will bring happiness.
Miss & Love you both Daddy & Ryan <3>
((HUGS)) and journeying beside you. Love you lady!!
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