Tuesday, August 10

A Mother's Love

Selfless unfailing love. It is easy to love someone half way, dedicate some of your time to them, and still throw on the title of 'love.' Mothers though...I don't believe it is possible for them to half way love their children. From the time I was born, my mother and I have had a special connection. For years, she has been my best friend...and for a while after my dad left, Sabrina, Mom and me were closer than ever because it was just us girls. We've always had fun together, and now in my life more than ever I feel like I can talk to her about anything.

Through everything I've gone through, my mom has done everything in her power to help me make it through. She's gone under the radar since I've been home, but she's been my warrior. Not only since losing Ryan, for years she has been my fighter. Freshman year in high school I went through my first devistating break up - she held me through the pain. 1 year later that same guy and his new girlfriend brought harassment charges & restraining orders to my doorstep (as if her taking him wasn't enough) and my mom found a lawyer, and spent so much time to clear my name and get everything dropped. The next year I lost my daddy to cancer, and she didn't even blink when it came to making sure we were in California for anything we needed.

Then, the awful night I had to call my parents and tell them that Ryan was gone, I sobbed as I tried to say "Mom he's gone, Ryan is gone." She tried to understand what I was saying when it clicked that he didn't just walk away, he wasn't coming back, she told me to stay put because her and my dad would be there in 2 hours. (Side note: it takes 2 1/2 hours to get from Yuma to my old apartment, they made it in 2!)

Huge milestones my life has faced and although I thought certain friends would be there no matter what, they faltered. Some were there for certain things, others for different events, and today most of my friends have abandoned me because they just didn't know what to say to me. The one lady in my life who has been strong and true is my beautiful mother.

Just the thought of my mom loving me brings tears to my eyes because it is unfailing and beautiful. The relationship I have with my mom makes me so excited to be a mother someday so that I can have this kind of relationship and feel the kind of love she feels for me.

She's my rock, and God blessed me beyond words with her because without her, I'm not sure where I'd be today.

Love you mama.

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