Every loan application I fill out, jobs I apply for...anything to help myself get back into school and on top of my stupid bills -- everything is coming back denied. After the very sudden death of Ryan, excuse me credit companies -- paying my bills must have slipped my mind as I was more focused on how to avoid the world for the rest of my life. Therefore - my credit score is now shot. Leading to the consequence of that constant "Sorry Miss Robertson but we cannot grant your request for a loan at this time" message showing up on my screen.
Today at church the worship team leader stood up and gave his testimony about how hard his life has been, and how after some serious medical visits - he too felt like he was drowning in debt. Then he ended his testimony by saying "I finally remembered, if I have Christ on my side - who could beat me?"
I'm still praying...but the more times I get rejected from a job or another student loan...I have to wonder what the chaos behind all this really means.
Maybe it means you are not ready for school yet. There is still plenty of time. Maybe you need to sit out this semester, get your credit score up and not burden yourself with school. Maybe school would be overwhelming. Continue to pray for guidance and when a door closes take it as a sign that it may open when the time is right. Give yourself a break sweetie. It has only been 4 months.
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