Life takes a lot of energy, and I am one in the belief that everyone needs a little recharging now and then. To some people that may be spending the entire day in your jammies watching movies and being lazy, and usually (too much actually) that ends up being me. I wake up in the morning and think to myself "If someone calls me today, I will get ready...if not, no use trying." So yes this was the perfect excuse 2 1/2 months ago, but then I recalled a certain convorsation Ry and I had right after we had started our break. He came over one morning unannounced and saw me getting ready - the whole 9 yards, hair, make up, even heels. He asked me "Babe, why don't you ever get that beautiful for me when we are together?" I was shocked...I guess I didn't realize I had "let myself go" that far. I guess when it came down to it, I was trying to find my confidence again, trying to feel good about myself amidst the sorrow I felt with him being with another girl.
I'm not trying to say that I'm shallow and the only way I feel confidence is through my looks, but in all reality - when do you feel better? When you stay in bed all day and then fry your brain with endless amounts of television never once even thinking about showering or when you get up, take a shower, do your hair and look in the mirror feeling accomplished and put together? Three months ago my brother laughed when I told him I absolutley hated showers. Taking a shower and putting myself together meant I was going on in my daily life. I've now had three months of gluing my butt to the couch, and today it is 4:30 am and I actually felt the need to get ready even though I'm about to spend 18 hours in a car, why? Because I now feel ready to take on the day, whatever may come with it.
I was lucky enough to have the loving family and friends I've had the past three months, never pressuring me to do anything out of my comfort zone (aka the couch) but I feel like my batteries have recharged enough that I can do what I need to do now. This weekend is going to be my final bolt of energy needed to jump start my new attitude and my new self.
So - in the spirit of road tripping!! Houston, here we come!
Yes! We all need goals--we all need purpose. Keep praising God 'cause that's where the real battery charge comes from. Then sit silent before Him and listen for His voice. He's singing a song over you, O daughter of His heart.
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you.
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