Sunday, July 11

"Do Unto Others... you would have done to you." "Treat others the way you want to be treated." The golden rule -- it can be rephrased a million ways, but the point is always the same, and so incredibly simple.

Life has a way of knocking us down sometimes, and although sometimes it is just a minor setback - other times it is a tidal wave leaving you doggy paddling back to shore. We don't always have to pick ourselves up alone though...depending on how you've built your life thus far, the way you treat other people, and the people you bring into your life - they can be your life jacket, or better yet your speed boat racing out there to pick you up and bring you back.

In my younger days, I wasn't the nicest person around. I'm not saying I was the school bully or anything, but I was a mean girl sometimes. I'd make a rude comment about that girl, or I would help spread that hurtful rumor. When people say the only reason bullies do it is to avoid their own insecurities and feel superior - it is the complete truth. Plus by making people focus on other people's mistakes, they would quit talking about my scars.

Later in life I tried a little bit harder to bite my tongue in the gossip conversations, I didn't turn my head at the 'less popular' girls because well lets face it - by high school I was one of them. I just wanted to be nice. You know that fun loving - girl next door sweetheart? That's what I wanted to be - the nice girl who gave everyone a chance. I don't know if I was a nice girl, but I do know I gave everyone a chance. Most of the chances I gave have all come back to hurt me, but it doesn't change that I still want to be a better me.

At this point in my life, I feel very hurt by some of the things people have done to me. The past three months have forced me to open my eyes and see who my true friends are and who was faking it for the sake of hurting me behind my back. I keep hearing myself say "forgiveness is the only way to heal." I know Jesus would forgive, and that is exactly what he wants us to do. This...this was just too much to forgive right now though. Something told me to remember it tonight...the pain I felt of such a deep betrayal, the ridicule that followed, and the awful things said both to my face & to "friends." Know what that "something" was? The Devil himself! I had the most amazing, positive weekend and told myself that today marks my transformation. He does NOT want me to come out of this hole - but I have news for him! I WILL make it out, and I will do it for me, not for anything else.

The reason the golden rule is so pressed on my mind right now is because I also think of Karma when I hear this phrase. I remember writing a poem when I was a "rebel child" in Jr. High and it ended talking about how those girls could say all the mean things they wanted because someday Karma would level the field. Again in high school, I wrote a poem to an ex about how emotionally abused I felt, and it wasn't okay for him to play games with girls - the end: "Karma won't hurt too bad when she finally takes a swing." Today: What you did hurt, you can even hold the trophy of beating my soul til it bled -- but your victory will be short lived, because Karma always evens up the score.

Maybe someday when my healing is a little closer to complete I will forgive them for doing what they did, and saying what they did -- until then, letting it roll off the back and moving forward with my life. I want to make a difference in the lives of thousands and even millions with the love and compassion I have to share. Karma will take care of the rest for me :)

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