About a month ago I "liked" a page on Facebook called "Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk!" and dear goodness that is so true lately. I feel like everytime I get on their someone new is saying "I'm having a baby!!" or "I'm getting married!!" and call me old fashioned, but what is this huge rush our generation is feeling to settle down and have kids? I myself would be delighted to get married someday to a nice man and have kids, be a mommy and raise my kids the best I could...but not for a very long time. I'm not even of legal drinking age yet, and neither are the people of my generation who are so thrilled to be walking away from their dream schools, saying no to college all together, and many other sacrifices because for some reason - the health class day where we learned about condoms no longer applies.
Okay...so yes four months ago had I said this I would be the world's biggest hypocrite because the night I picked up Ryan from the airport I was slightly devastated he didn't really have an engagement ring for me. The whole drive home he tried to pry it out of me what was so wrong and I finally said "Look, you asked me to marry you while you were in New Mexico, I just sort of thought you meant it." He laughed and asked "Really Arianne? That's what you are upset about? When the time is right, I will have a ring - and then it will happen, but we have a lot of growing to do still." A very insightful response and he still made me feel amazing.
Moving in together may have been the opposite way to grow in our relationship, especially under the circumstances that we moved...but we did it anyway because tradition didn't really seem to be our style. Our life in Denver was very short lived, and so cheesy (what with the sleeping on an air mattress, using a fish tank for a tv stand and eating dinner on the living room floor kinda lifestyle) but it took one month and we were starting to realize that maybe it was a little fast. One night a few nights before he passed away, I was feeling honest - and a little gutsy - so I asked him, "Ryan, are we going to get married?" He couldn't answer me... In my heart I had a feeling that it was only a matter of time and he probably would have left me...
So..trying to avoid the title of hypocrite here, yes I wanted to be engaged to Ryan when I was 19 years old -- but when it came down to the reality of it...he wasn't ready to be married again, and he knew I was much too young to be getting married already. I don't know what married life is like, or what being a young mom is like...but the way I see it, all these girls who are in such a big rush to get married and have kids...I wish they would just stop for a second and look at their lives in the long run. Maybe they will be the lucky ones who make it & last their entire lives...but there is still the possibility they won't.
Just a small soap box I had to stand on because it is just so sad to me to see my generation rushing into the full on adult lives when we still have so many years to be young and experience life.