Baby steps...one foot at a time...now more than ever I've heard variations of this phrase and it couldn't be more true. It's been almost 6 months, I can't believe that the time has gone by so quickly. Even reading posts from the beginning of this new path, I barely recognize who I was - and to see myself growing through this tragedy, I pray that I give hope to others going through life to see that anything is possible when you trust the right people and believe in yourself.
My life seems to be adding a brick of happiness each day I wake up, and this is something I never thought I'd find again. It means so much to me to know that I have so many people rooting for me, even if its silently from the sidelines. I know I have lots of prayer and support - and let me tell you: its been working!
A few weeks ago, I decided to apply for jobs in Greeley and see if God was willing to let that door open up again. After my crazy move to Denver, I'm a big believer in job first, apartment later :). September 16th started off very hard...I cried most of the morning, and really considered staying in bed all day and calling into work. Then - something in my mind clicked. I realized that if on this first anniversary date I let my sadness win and control me, not only would I be taking 5 very big steps backwards in my growth - but also that Ryan would not want me to live my life this way. I found the strength to pull through, went to work, and was so blessed that day! That's the day I got two phone calls offering two jobs - in Greeley. A day of sadness was turned around with the opening of a door to the next chapter in my life.
Now, slowly, I'm making the transition to Greeley. I'm working part time at Kohl's, starting Ace again in 2 weeks, and still work part time in Yuma. It's hectic, and by the end of the day September 29th I will know the roads from Greeley to Yuma by heart with all the commuting I'm doing!! But I love my job :) I remember a great woman praying for me to find a job where I would find good friends to be blessed by, and her prayers have been answered. I've only been there two days and some of my co-workers have already blessed my life with their kindness.
Each piece I'm adding to my life has been carefully thought out...I'm now making decisions with rationality instead of emotion, I'm protecting my heart and everything I've worked so hard to get. Hard work will be a new way of life for me, because I am determined to live a full and prosperous life that my daddy and Ryan would both want for me. I'm glad my posts are starting to sound so much happier - and I hope this reflects how I'm doing because I finally feel at peace to begin again.
All my love!
Ari
P.S. More great news that has made this life so blessed: I'm going to be an aunt!! I'm so happy for my oldest sister, she's wanted this for so long now and she's finally been blessed with it. She'll be an incredible mother with a great line of beautiful aunts (and a handsome uncle :p) to help her out. Not to mention - some amazing grandparents who did such a great job raising us. I have an incredible family - I'm so blessed to have them in my life. Love all of you so so much!
My life seems to be adding a brick of happiness each day I wake up, and this is something I never thought I'd find again. It means so much to me to know that I have so many people rooting for me, even if its silently from the sidelines. I know I have lots of prayer and support - and let me tell you: its been working!
A few weeks ago, I decided to apply for jobs in Greeley and see if God was willing to let that door open up again. After my crazy move to Denver, I'm a big believer in job first, apartment later :). September 16th started off very hard...I cried most of the morning, and really considered staying in bed all day and calling into work. Then - something in my mind clicked. I realized that if on this first anniversary date I let my sadness win and control me, not only would I be taking 5 very big steps backwards in my growth - but also that Ryan would not want me to live my life this way. I found the strength to pull through, went to work, and was so blessed that day! That's the day I got two phone calls offering two jobs - in Greeley. A day of sadness was turned around with the opening of a door to the next chapter in my life.
Now, slowly, I'm making the transition to Greeley. I'm working part time at Kohl's, starting Ace again in 2 weeks, and still work part time in Yuma. It's hectic, and by the end of the day September 29th I will know the roads from Greeley to Yuma by heart with all the commuting I'm doing!! But I love my job :) I remember a great woman praying for me to find a job where I would find good friends to be blessed by, and her prayers have been answered. I've only been there two days and some of my co-workers have already blessed my life with their kindness.
Each piece I'm adding to my life has been carefully thought out...I'm now making decisions with rationality instead of emotion, I'm protecting my heart and everything I've worked so hard to get. Hard work will be a new way of life for me, because I am determined to live a full and prosperous life that my daddy and Ryan would both want for me. I'm glad my posts are starting to sound so much happier - and I hope this reflects how I'm doing because I finally feel at peace to begin again.
All my love!
Ari
P.S. More great news that has made this life so blessed: I'm going to be an aunt!! I'm so happy for my oldest sister, she's wanted this for so long now and she's finally been blessed with it. She'll be an incredible mother with a great line of beautiful aunts (and a handsome uncle :p) to help her out. Not to mention - some amazing grandparents who did such a great job raising us. I have an incredible family - I'm so blessed to have them in my life. Love all of you so so much!
Words just cannot express what is in my heart hearing how you are healing and growing!!! I know it takes a long time to recover from a great loss. You will move forward and then fall back a little....but it's the moving forward you need to concentrate on! I feel that is what you are able to do now. The pain of the loss of anyone in your life will always be there but will ease with time. Life does go on and you have to go on the best you can. It sounds like you are doing everything right right now. Just remember...you will have your sad times...but nothing will be able to take away your good memories. We all love you so much! You never know what is just around the corner. Always remember...God doesn't give you more than you can handle! He knows better than we know ourselves. LOVE YOU DEAR HEART!!!
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