Today's Lesson: When everything else falls apart, as long as you have a strong foundation, there's no reason you can't rebuild.
This one is one that I have lived my life by ten thousand times over. Every new person to come into my life always hears endless stories about my family in the "getting to know each other" phase because they are the single most important people in my life...my family. There are days when I look back on the path I've traveled and am not a single bit surprised I've made it through, because I had the love and support of the most amazing family a girl could ask for.
After my mom remarried, my little sister and I gained three older siblings. Debra, the oldest - and most motherly...Char, the second oldest - the drama queen (in a good way) of the bunch...and Jeff, the youngest - the ONLY boy in the whole family (besides dad). A few years later Daddy remarried, and our huge family was complete. Sabrina and I had two dads and two moms. Trish will always be the answer to our prayers as she brought our dad closer to us and he was more involved in our lives when she came into his life...she brought out the best in him.
Over the years all of us five kids have endured our fair share of heartbreak, and my favorite memories of my childhood include someone from my family showing their love and support by helping one another through those hard times.
My family, to me, is literally my foundation...they are my roots..they keep me grounded when I can't even see the ground. They've pulled me from some of the darkest moments in my life, even when I wasn't acting like the daughter or sister I was raised to be. Without them I'd be one very lost 20 year old trying to find love in all the wrong places, but thanks to them...I know I can survive absolutely anything this life throws at me.
The lesson here is...ladies and gentlemen, take a good hard look at your life. What is the most important part to you? I'm not saying there is no other answer other than family, sadly not all of us were blessed in having great families, but your foundation should never be built on a man, money, alcohol, etc. Too many times in this life you see people who have made these things their foundation, so when they let you down - where does that leave you? Alone and disappointed. Society will tell you that it is more than okay to make these your priority, but look where society put people like Lindsay Lohan or Mel Gibson -- in and out of rehab or a raging media bully! Not exactly the life we should be striving for...
Hope you all find great foundations...because like I said earlier, with a great foundation, its NEVER impossible to rebuild.
For tonight...
Arianne Elizabeth
Tuesday, November 9
Monday, November 8
What You Give is What You Get
Today's lesson: Life really is all what you make it.
Today I was oh so fortunate to finally have this dreaded cough/cold catch up to me and knock me out of the running for my fresh start. Here I had my alarm set for 5 am so I could get up and go for a run, start my lifestyle change, and have a great beginning of the week...and I'm still tossing and turning coughing up my entire respiatory system at 3:30 am.
Despite this awful way to start my week, I spent the entire day in bed taking time to reflect my life and truly appreciate my chance to have a fresh start. Everything in life is affected by the way your attitude is. What you give, is what you will get.
When I was younger, my parents got a divorce. For many years I hated this fact, and as a child resented things way beyond my contorl or comprehension. It wasn't until I was 10 years old that I finally realized just what God was thinking when he knew my parents wouldn't be together forever. I was blessed beyond words with the family that I got, I wouldn't ask for it any other way. The difference in my view was that after I saw the reason behind the divorce, I was blessed. It wasn't long after that I began living my life with that same principle, with the difference of not resenting bad situations, just accepting them and anticipating the blessing that would soon come from it. Some call it a blessing, others would soon grow sick of my optimistic attitude, but those were the people I didn't want to attract into my life in the first place.
I think I got this attitude from my mother, she's always been optimistic...and sometimes one could say "obnoxiously optimistic." Just the other day, I was texting her about how frustrated I was that the store was staying open late because customers didn't know how to read the 'Hours Open' sign. She replied back, "Deep breath honey, those customers keep you in a job!" I smirked and thought to myself "What a peppy brat she is today, I just want to be negative!" But eventually, the day ended perfect. We did stay late, but the extra thirty minutes of pay tacked onto my paycheck were spent sitting in a rocking chair up front talking to my co-workers about life. Some of the easiest money I've ever made!
So that's what I want to get across tonight...that there is something great that can and will come out of EVERY situation, even if it takes a few years before you get to see it -- its worth the wait. They say life is what you make it, and they are more than right. So take whatever negative thing you're dealing with today and imagine what great things might come from it!
**One more thing: Even if you fake a smile for a whole minute, more times than not it will stick :) Try it sometime!
That's all folks!
Arianne Elizabeth
Today I was oh so fortunate to finally have this dreaded cough/cold catch up to me and knock me out of the running for my fresh start. Here I had my alarm set for 5 am so I could get up and go for a run, start my lifestyle change, and have a great beginning of the week...and I'm still tossing and turning coughing up my entire respiatory system at 3:30 am.
Despite this awful way to start my week, I spent the entire day in bed taking time to reflect my life and truly appreciate my chance to have a fresh start. Everything in life is affected by the way your attitude is. What you give, is what you will get.
When I was younger, my parents got a divorce. For many years I hated this fact, and as a child resented things way beyond my contorl or comprehension. It wasn't until I was 10 years old that I finally realized just what God was thinking when he knew my parents wouldn't be together forever. I was blessed beyond words with the family that I got, I wouldn't ask for it any other way. The difference in my view was that after I saw the reason behind the divorce, I was blessed. It wasn't long after that I began living my life with that same principle, with the difference of not resenting bad situations, just accepting them and anticipating the blessing that would soon come from it. Some call it a blessing, others would soon grow sick of my optimistic attitude, but those were the people I didn't want to attract into my life in the first place.
I think I got this attitude from my mother, she's always been optimistic...and sometimes one could say "obnoxiously optimistic." Just the other day, I was texting her about how frustrated I was that the store was staying open late because customers didn't know how to read the 'Hours Open' sign. She replied back, "Deep breath honey, those customers keep you in a job!" I smirked and thought to myself "What a peppy brat she is today, I just want to be negative!" But eventually, the day ended perfect. We did stay late, but the extra thirty minutes of pay tacked onto my paycheck were spent sitting in a rocking chair up front talking to my co-workers about life. Some of the easiest money I've ever made!
So that's what I want to get across tonight...that there is something great that can and will come out of EVERY situation, even if it takes a few years before you get to see it -- its worth the wait. They say life is what you make it, and they are more than right. So take whatever negative thing you're dealing with today and imagine what great things might come from it!
**One more thing: Even if you fake a smile for a whole minute, more times than not it will stick :) Try it sometime!
That's all folks!
Arianne Elizabeth
Sunday, November 7
Acknowledging Your Personal Growth
Today's lesson: Realizing the growth you've made as an individual, and not fearing the acceptance of it.
As a little "catch me up" and starter to my story, there is a new man in my life. Avoiding all the hairy details, he is a regular customer at Ace and we've been talking for some time now and just recently exchanged numbers to go out on a date sometime. Now...keeping in mind the Arianne that most people knew & hated, I used to jump both feet into the pool on the chance that any guy was interested in me. Do everything in my power to find him, hook him and keep him.
Terrible way of living girls! You want a man to stay in your life because he genuinely loves you, not because you can afford to buy him.
After hanging out once, talking for a while, and getting to know more about him I've come to the conclusion that I like him. How much yet, I'm not sure, but I know that as a person making him a piece of my life seems like a good decision. I'm still sort of lacking in the friends department here in Greeley, so there is nothing wrong with making a new friend. Talk has come up about possibly dating someday, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested, but for the first time in my entire life...I, Arianne Robertson, set boundaries right away. I told him I'm nobody's girlfriend, that is an earned right. He laughed and said he'd be glad to earn that respect someday.
The story + the lesson = Where I am today... In my past, I've made the mistake of throwing myself into relationships...being someone's girlfriend made my life seem close to perfect - even if I wasn't being respected. *Another note for girls: if you aren't being respected in your relationship, it may not seem like it, but being single is going to take you down a much happier path than being disrespected everyday. I told this man right away that I am a woman who deserves nothing less than respect on every area of my life. I followed it up with "if that's not okay with you, feel free to walk." Maybe he's a good guy after all, because he thought it was great that I would respect myself that much to stick to my plan.
So...my personal growth has taken me from very low and dark valleys in my life, all the way back up to a beautiful place in my life where I feel like I am wonderful, I deserve incredible things, and nothing/no one is going to keep me from getting where I want to be in life. Today, I accept the growth I've made as my own progress, another brick in my path, and another very important life lesson I can consider learned.
Now...time to grow in the world of Psychology 101. Have a wonderful evening blogger world!
Signing off,
Arianne Elizabeth
As a little "catch me up" and starter to my story, there is a new man in my life. Avoiding all the hairy details, he is a regular customer at Ace and we've been talking for some time now and just recently exchanged numbers to go out on a date sometime. Now...keeping in mind the Arianne that most people knew & hated, I used to jump both feet into the pool on the chance that any guy was interested in me. Do everything in my power to find him, hook him and keep him.
Terrible way of living girls! You want a man to stay in your life because he genuinely loves you, not because you can afford to buy him.
After hanging out once, talking for a while, and getting to know more about him I've come to the conclusion that I like him. How much yet, I'm not sure, but I know that as a person making him a piece of my life seems like a good decision. I'm still sort of lacking in the friends department here in Greeley, so there is nothing wrong with making a new friend. Talk has come up about possibly dating someday, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested, but for the first time in my entire life...I, Arianne Robertson, set boundaries right away. I told him I'm nobody's girlfriend, that is an earned right. He laughed and said he'd be glad to earn that respect someday.
The story + the lesson = Where I am today... In my past, I've made the mistake of throwing myself into relationships...being someone's girlfriend made my life seem close to perfect - even if I wasn't being respected. *Another note for girls: if you aren't being respected in your relationship, it may not seem like it, but being single is going to take you down a much happier path than being disrespected everyday. I told this man right away that I am a woman who deserves nothing less than respect on every area of my life. I followed it up with "if that's not okay with you, feel free to walk." Maybe he's a good guy after all, because he thought it was great that I would respect myself that much to stick to my plan.
So...my personal growth has taken me from very low and dark valleys in my life, all the way back up to a beautiful place in my life where I feel like I am wonderful, I deserve incredible things, and nothing/no one is going to keep me from getting where I want to be in life. Today, I accept the growth I've made as my own progress, another brick in my path, and another very important life lesson I can consider learned.
Now...time to grow in the world of Psychology 101. Have a wonderful evening blogger world!
Signing off,
Arianne Elizabeth
Saturday, November 6
I Want to Write!!
In the past days since I wrote my last blog, its like creativity has come and slapped me in the face. I have had so many things I wanted to share, and so I've decided to not be afraid to continue writing. I stopped for many reasons, time being one of them, but I've also made some decisions in the past few days that will allow me more time to do school and blogging!
Here's the deal followers -- I've revamped the blog again. Gave it a makeover and a new focus. Some people may not like what I have to say, but I have a message to tell -- and I'm going to tell it my way and in my time. If you don't agree with what I write, then please quit reading...because as of now: I want to share a story of overcoming and empowerment, of taking an awful hand of cards dealt to you and turning them into either a royal flush or a beautiful house of cards.
My life's journey has led me down some wild paths, and I now know what I want to do with my life as a result of the tragedy I've endured. Maybe this blog will help me continue to work through my emotions & hopefully touch the life of at least one person so they can find the hope they need to work through their own tragedies.
So...it is official: My Life In Boxes is UP AND RUNNING once again! Hope to see the hits start showing up again, because I have so much more I want to share with the world -- and you guys who are my dedicated followers -- you will be the help I need to get the word out that this girl has a message to share, and I'm not backing down from it!
Signing off for the night
Arianne Elizabeth
Here's the deal followers -- I've revamped the blog again. Gave it a makeover and a new focus. Some people may not like what I have to say, but I have a message to tell -- and I'm going to tell it my way and in my time. If you don't agree with what I write, then please quit reading...because as of now: I want to share a story of overcoming and empowerment, of taking an awful hand of cards dealt to you and turning them into either a royal flush or a beautiful house of cards.
My life's journey has led me down some wild paths, and I now know what I want to do with my life as a result of the tragedy I've endured. Maybe this blog will help me continue to work through my emotions & hopefully touch the life of at least one person so they can find the hope they need to work through their own tragedies.
So...it is official: My Life In Boxes is UP AND RUNNING once again! Hope to see the hits start showing up again, because I have so much more I want to share with the world -- and you guys who are my dedicated followers -- you will be the help I need to get the word out that this girl has a message to share, and I'm not backing down from it!
Signing off for the night
Arianne Elizabeth
Monday, October 18
Done For a While
My life is starting to get hectic again, two jobs and online school is a lot to handle, and I'm by no means complaining because I'm very content with where I am. The only downfall to that is that I just don't feel very creative latley, and most certainly haven't not been able to think of anything to blog about. So...sorry to disapoint what readers I have left, but the blogs are going on the back burner. Someday when life slows down a bit, and I find myself in more exciting stories than just work, school, sleep and repeat - I will probably start a new blog. This story was started because as a 19 year old girl, I'd lost more than my share of loved ones. I hoped that by writing my way through my greif that maybe someday someone will read through my story and find hope and courage through my journey. It is an ongoing story, and each day offers its own challenges - in both myself and in my loss - but for now its time to hang up the keyboard, and let the internal healing begin. Thanks for following my journey this far - your support and love has carried me through some of the darkest moments in my life and I'm thankful for you.
All my love,
Arianne Elizabeth Robertson
All my love,
Arianne Elizabeth Robertson
Monday, October 11
No More Rushing
Facebook is filled with the joy of engagements, baby anouncments, and love pouring out in every status. The probelm? These girls are so young...they have so much growing to do before they can ever truly understand what love is, how to be a mother, and the kind of commitment it takes to be married. Hiding behind my words...I realize that when Ryan was here I was one of those girls. "I'm out of high school though, I've been living on my own - I know what the world is like, I can know love." That was my thought process...wrong, love. Truth be told - I still couldn't tell ya what true love is. I'm sure its not something you describe, but rather you experience and grow from everyday.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you can only know love when you are all grown up - I don't doubt that I love my family, my friends, and past boyfriends - I had some kind of love for them, but it wasn't the love I thought it was. A few months ago, my high school sweetheart came back into my life. He was sorta like that handsome knight riding in on a beautiful white horse to rescue me from despair. Throw a tiara on me and I would have been convinced that Disney was so right about everything. He came in as quickly as he went again, but in that time he opened my eyes to a lot of things. One day while on a day vacation away from the world, we stopped by a Zales in a mall. When I was 16 and his girlfriend, we used to take day vacations all the time - and every single time I'd beg him to "pretend" we were engaged so I could put one of those beautiful diamonds on my little finger just to see what it would look like. Back then it was always no, of course, but this day it was his idea. He'd done everything in his power to try and pry a smile out of me and thought this might do the trick. "So...I know we're just friends, but I know you've always wanted to do this...follow my lead." He said as he pulled me into the store.
Driving home that night, I found myself staring at that finger that might someday actually hold a wedding ring...I sobbed the whole way. When Ryan was in New Mexico for Christmas he had me convinced he was bringing home a ring, and he proposed to me while he was there. These tears though...at the time they stung for the loss of what I took to be my fiancee...but later they'd come up as I'd finally open my eyes to realize that my life wasn't supposed to end up that way. Ryan knew I was still a child in so many ways...and many times he'd tell me "You need more out of this life...I want you to chase more because I believe in you." For a man as broken as he was, he had no problem showing his faith in other people.
When I was 16 I wanted to get married right out of high school, and tried so hard to make that a reality. When my age and maturity level revealed itself - I lost him. A few years later, my age & maturity level would once again force me to push an engagement - but I was only 19! Two nights before he passed away, I asked Ryan if he was ever going to propose to me. "I just don't think you'd truly be happy..."he replied, crushing my heart. He never felt good enough for the world, and whether he meant that or that he wanted me to chase more than I was doing - he made me find more. He never intended to hurt anyone by doing this, but his story just might save lives and give people a second chance! Including me...
So...tonight I am lonely. It bums me out to no end to know that out there in this big big world - there is no man tossing and turning just hoping I'm thinking about him. Tomorrow I won't wake up to a cute "good morning sunshine" text, and I most certainly will not be coming home to a man surprising me with dinner and a movie, but I'm okay with that. My life is about me now...surviving and learning to do everything over, with me as a priority. No more trying to rush to grow up, its not a race. Life's all about the journey, not the destination. So I'm stopping to smell the roses, and the only rushing I'll be doing is to make it to my next job that I love :).
For tonight...
<3 ari.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you can only know love when you are all grown up - I don't doubt that I love my family, my friends, and past boyfriends - I had some kind of love for them, but it wasn't the love I thought it was. A few months ago, my high school sweetheart came back into my life. He was sorta like that handsome knight riding in on a beautiful white horse to rescue me from despair. Throw a tiara on me and I would have been convinced that Disney was so right about everything. He came in as quickly as he went again, but in that time he opened my eyes to a lot of things. One day while on a day vacation away from the world, we stopped by a Zales in a mall. When I was 16 and his girlfriend, we used to take day vacations all the time - and every single time I'd beg him to "pretend" we were engaged so I could put one of those beautiful diamonds on my little finger just to see what it would look like. Back then it was always no, of course, but this day it was his idea. He'd done everything in his power to try and pry a smile out of me and thought this might do the trick. "So...I know we're just friends, but I know you've always wanted to do this...follow my lead." He said as he pulled me into the store.
Driving home that night, I found myself staring at that finger that might someday actually hold a wedding ring...I sobbed the whole way. When Ryan was in New Mexico for Christmas he had me convinced he was bringing home a ring, and he proposed to me while he was there. These tears though...at the time they stung for the loss of what I took to be my fiancee...but later they'd come up as I'd finally open my eyes to realize that my life wasn't supposed to end up that way. Ryan knew I was still a child in so many ways...and many times he'd tell me "You need more out of this life...I want you to chase more because I believe in you." For a man as broken as he was, he had no problem showing his faith in other people.
When I was 16 I wanted to get married right out of high school, and tried so hard to make that a reality. When my age and maturity level revealed itself - I lost him. A few years later, my age & maturity level would once again force me to push an engagement - but I was only 19! Two nights before he passed away, I asked Ryan if he was ever going to propose to me. "I just don't think you'd truly be happy..."he replied, crushing my heart. He never felt good enough for the world, and whether he meant that or that he wanted me to chase more than I was doing - he made me find more. He never intended to hurt anyone by doing this, but his story just might save lives and give people a second chance! Including me...
So...tonight I am lonely. It bums me out to no end to know that out there in this big big world - there is no man tossing and turning just hoping I'm thinking about him. Tomorrow I won't wake up to a cute "good morning sunshine" text, and I most certainly will not be coming home to a man surprising me with dinner and a movie, but I'm okay with that. My life is about me now...surviving and learning to do everything over, with me as a priority. No more trying to rush to grow up, its not a race. Life's all about the journey, not the destination. So I'm stopping to smell the roses, and the only rushing I'll be doing is to make it to my next job that I love :).
For tonight...
<3 ari.
Tuesday, October 5
If You Really Knew Me...
The show on Mtv has to be the most impactful reality idea they've ever come up with. To watch people my age open up to each other and share their life stories with each other, and then accept each other instead of continue being so hateful.
This show makes me think of my experiences in high school...and how much I wish this "Challenge Day" could have happened in Yuma. I used to think that we didn't have a clique problem there - we had cool people and weird people (ignorant, I know). Thinking back I realize now that there were so many awful things going on between the cliques that did exist. I've learned many things about my classmates since graduation day that have brought more compassion to what their stories have written out to be.
If I had the chance to tell my classmates the reality they thought they knew about me...this is what it would be like.
If you really knew me you'd know that from the age of 5 years old I fully believed my dad left because I was a bad daughter...freshman year my boyfriend shattered every last bit of hope I had that true love existed. The text message that was sent around three schools about me...I cried for weeks knowing that so many people forwarded that in a heartbeat, and that three different schools were literally laughing at me, and only me...junior year I thought I'd found hope in love again, and maybe I did - but then my world came crashing down the day cancer stole my daddy from me. Two years later, after struggling so hard to find my identity in all the wrong places - when I found Ryan after he took his life, for weeks I truly thought I'd never survive, and I wanted to be gone too.
If you really knew me now though, you'd know that even though I am worried about money and working my tail off - that I am finally beginning to find myself. You'd know that with each day I'm finding myself in a safer place than before, I have my heart in boundaries, and I believe that the lonliness won't last forever. You'd know that I come from a long line of survivors - and I'm proud of my family and the woman I'm becoming.
If you really knew me...you'd know that I'm about to begin the most exciting and rewarding journey of my life -- and I can't wait.
All my love,
Ari
This show makes me think of my experiences in high school...and how much I wish this "Challenge Day" could have happened in Yuma. I used to think that we didn't have a clique problem there - we had cool people and weird people (ignorant, I know). Thinking back I realize now that there were so many awful things going on between the cliques that did exist. I've learned many things about my classmates since graduation day that have brought more compassion to what their stories have written out to be.
If I had the chance to tell my classmates the reality they thought they knew about me...this is what it would be like.
If you really knew me you'd know that from the age of 5 years old I fully believed my dad left because I was a bad daughter...freshman year my boyfriend shattered every last bit of hope I had that true love existed. The text message that was sent around three schools about me...I cried for weeks knowing that so many people forwarded that in a heartbeat, and that three different schools were literally laughing at me, and only me...junior year I thought I'd found hope in love again, and maybe I did - but then my world came crashing down the day cancer stole my daddy from me. Two years later, after struggling so hard to find my identity in all the wrong places - when I found Ryan after he took his life, for weeks I truly thought I'd never survive, and I wanted to be gone too.
If you really knew me now though, you'd know that even though I am worried about money and working my tail off - that I am finally beginning to find myself. You'd know that with each day I'm finding myself in a safer place than before, I have my heart in boundaries, and I believe that the lonliness won't last forever. You'd know that I come from a long line of survivors - and I'm proud of my family and the woman I'm becoming.
If you really knew me...you'd know that I'm about to begin the most exciting and rewarding journey of my life -- and I can't wait.
All my love,
Ari
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