Today...no lesson. Just a daughter missing her daddy.
For two days now, the owner of the store has been hanging out at our store to see how we're running things. Its always a little nerve racking just because no one wants to upset him, but it always ends up being better than we expect. One thing about him is that he always switches the radio station when he gets there. Instead of the usual twang of country singers singing about their ex-loves and alcohol, we were listening to christian radio. Its always difficult to find things to be upset about when you're listening to such uplifting music, but occasionally a certain song would hit me right & bring back memories.
When we brought daddy home from the hospital, we knew it wouldn't be long before the cancer took his body and God called him home..so we did everything we could to make him happy. He wanted a whopper from Burger King really bad, so we stopped and got him one his last night in the hospital. Then when we got him home the next day, he wanted to see his deck he'd just had put in his new house. We all went outside with him and he asked to feel the sunshine, and put his feet in the grass. Around midnight that night, he started feeling sick. We knew something wasn't right, and he did too...about an hour later he was feeling better but knew his time was very short. He told us he was at a crossroads, and he knew he was being called home. So we put on encouraging music and sang to him and stayed by his side. The song "Praise You In This Storm" came on and we all had to fight through tears to keep singing because it described us perfectly...
"I was sure by now, God you would have reached down, and wiped our tears away..but once again, I say amen, and its still raining. But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear, you whisper through the rain 'I'm with you' and as your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives...and takes away."
As the last chord strum played through the speakers, daddy took his final breath. The tears were no longer controllable, we'd just lost a daddy..husband..brother..son...he was gone. In that moment, the first moment the earth existed without Bruce Alan Robertson, the song "In Better Hands" began playing, and as if a message from daddy...we knew he'd made it home.
"Its like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down, its like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground...its like the world is silent though I know it isn't true, its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room -- So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt...I'm in better hands now."
This song came on today, as I watched a daddy walk through the store with his little girl close by his side. Memories triggered in my mind, and I saw the image of my daddy after he'd gone to Heaven...but as if he was there with me, my mind was flooded with the happiest memories I had of him. I felt a smile come across my face as I knew that he was still here with me...he promised us that day he'd never leave us. "I know I promised I'd always be here for you, but God wants me here in a different way..."
Daddy is gone now...and there are days my heart just breaks in his absence. I want nothing more than just one more day, one more moment, one last hug...but I know that someday I will get all of that..only it won't be "one last" anything...when I see him again, I can be with him always. Today I smile through my tears when I say that I am proud to be my father's daughter. He was a great man and the world will always miss him...especially his two very special daughters. But we were blessed beyond words to have had him in our lives when we did.
Rest in peace Daddy...I will see you again someday. Love you forever.